As of Sunday, I’ve been blogging for three years. Three years!
The past couple weeks I’ve started to really feel like an adult, and the passage of time that’s elapsed on this site speaks to that. Part of it is that we’re preparing for our ever-impending big move this summer (back to New Jersey and John’s family!). We’re joining the “sandwich” generation, in that we’ll be the middle generation in the house. John’s parents don’t need us to take care of them, but it’s certainly a change for all involved. We’re excited for our boys to have more time with grandparents, aunts, and uncles. I think the feeling is mutual.
With the move comes conversation about roof estimates and decking and paint colors in our spare (ha!) time. We also just bought our first car, a minivan, which makes me feel like we’ve skipped another phase of adulthood altogether. (The car’s name is Odysseus, Frankie for short.)
What’s most making me feel like an adult though, are not these material things, but the joys, sorrows, and hard work that life is about these days.
Having two little guys to care for is very different from one, and I feel more legit as a mom somehow. The boys bring me great joy and I offer thanksgiving for them every day. Jacob is a hoot and such a helper (he eases my mood when I spend an hour looking for a parking spot in Brooklyn; he paces with me while I’m walking Henry to sleep). Henry’s smile lights up the whole world—and it’s a world that seems to need that light more and more every day.
The last year and a half especially have meant challenges in relationships—loss in more ways than one, as well as situations that have forced me to face myself and see what I’m really all about. What do I stand for and do I live it? I know the answers to these questions a little bit better now, and I think the humility that comes with that might be the beginnings of wisdom.
Two babies, a car, a move, a giant test, a growing business and a manuscript always in progress can steal the time it takes to make a marriage work—if you let them. When we’re bouncing back and forth between states and trying to get a decent amount of sleep each night, it’s taking a conscious effort to make time for our marriage recently. Thankfully, all the rest that life has thrown at us has given us ample opportunity to grow closer, and we’re taking advantage as much as we can.
If I had to define “being an adult,” at this point in my life, I’d have to say it’s giving myself to others. When I think about dating John and how I hoped and hoped it would lead to this, it wasn’t romance that I was interested in, but sharing my life, growing a family. When I think about the challenges we’ve faced, I know that I can’t keep myself to myself—that’s not why I’m here.
The journey isn’t over, but today’s as good a day as any to have a check-in with myself and see where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. I’m really glad you’re all here for the ride.
Thanks for reading for three wonderful years!