Leaving Something, Starting Something

by youngmarriedmom Posted on July 22, 2013

People have been asking if I’ll miss anything about Brooklyn. The answer, of course, is yes. I’ll miss the friends we’ve made here, the church community we were a part of, walking just about everywhere, taking the subway and getting in and out of Manhattan so quickly, running around Prospect Park, having John get home in half the time it will take once we’re in New Jersey.

 

But when you know the next step is the right one to take, it’s kind of hard to be really sad about what you’ll miss. There are great things about living in Brooklyn, and there are some sacrifices we’ve made. Likewise, there will be things that are great about living in New Jersey, and there are other sacrifices to make. Wherever we are, I’m bringing the things—the people—who are most important with me, and that’s the part that really matters.
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Brooklyn, New Jersey, the moon—wherever I am, if I know it’s where God wants me to be, I’m happy to be there.

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Dear Henry XI

by youngmarriedmom Posted on July 17, 2013

Dear Henry,

 

You are just six months old and I fall more in love with you every time I look at you. You are a lovable baby, full of smiles and strength. Since it’s gotten hot out, I stopped putting pants on you. You just wear onesies, and it seems like every time we go out, someone comments on your big, chunky thighs. You are a chunker, my love, and beyond adorable.

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I love watching you interact with Jacob. You love to see him when you get up from your nap—and that’s a good thing, because he drops what he’s doing and races in to see you once he hears you cry. You’re happy to play by yourself, too, and you really play with toys. You hold on to your toys so tightly. You’ve had a good grip from your first moments, when you took my finger in your hand. I like that you seem to have a constant streak in you. Perhaps this will turn out to be a manifestation of your faithfulness and loyalty.

 

You are trying to crawl every day. Because it’s so hot, we’ve been staying home, but I think that’s fine because it gives you a chance to figure out how to go forward. It hasn’t happened yet, though there have been a few close attempts. You can sit up for a little on your own, too. Every day you grow up a little more, there’s more you can do with Jacob. I love hearing the two of you making each other laugh. I hope you will be friends once you are able to make a choice about it.

 

Henry, you have such big, beautiful eyes that look right into mine and a big, big smile that fills my heart up. I love you so much, and I am so, so grateful that you’re here.
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I’ve noticed in the last week or so that there is still a bit of an ache in me from losing your brother Ethan last year. We have lots of friends who are pregnant and having their second and third children. You are here and you are a tremendous blessing; already I don’t know how we could be without you. I love holding you. You fit right into my hip like the last piece into the puzzle. There will always be a part of me that misses the little guy we never really met, but you will also always be such a special gift to us—joy and hope in a dark, sad time.

 

You are a ticklish little guy, and a hand wiggling on your chest sets off your belly laughs. When I talk to you, you react as if you understand exactly what I’m saying. You are beautifully peaceful when asleep, and I love, love, love every minute of being your mom. You’re making it pretty easy thus far, and I am grateful for that!

 

I love you and that our family is blessed enough to call you ours. I can’t wait to see what these next six months will hold for you!

 

All my heart,
Mom

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Barn-Raising Birthday

by youngmarriedmom Posted on July 15, 2013

This post is a few weeks late, but I still think it’s important enough to share, so here goes!

 

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Last weekend, we celebrated John’s birthday. We also painted three rooms in the house that, come August, will be our home.

 

I cook a kind of feast for John’s birthday every year, but this one was extra special because I cooked for a dozen, most of whom had been working hard all day long. We had a wonderful, productive, and wonderfully productive day, and dinner was as much a celebration of John as of the community of family and friends we had working together. It felt kind of old-fashioned, and I loved it.

 

I’m learning more and more that asking for help is a skill, and one that can take a lifetime to learn. We’re trying to teach Jacob what he can do on his own and what he needs help with. He’s two, so of course he likes to do things himself, whether it’s climbing something at the playground, going to see Henry after a nap, or swaddling his big blue stuffed dog.

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As we move into the next stages of family life, I’m seeing how important it is for me to ask for help at the right times, too. When do we need someone to help us with the kids so we can get something else done? When do we need a babysitter for a date night or a wedding? How do we need help preparing for our move? How can we incorporate other people into our family life, while maintaining our burgeoning identity as a family? My family is my responsibility, but I don’t have to do everything myself, either.

 

I know we can’t teach our kids everything. They’re likely to have interests that we don’t know much about. By the time they’re old enough to realize it, I want them to have a seemingly ready-made community of people they can turn to as resources for personal, professional, and spiritual development. Our family and their godparents are a mighty good start.

 

This weekend, we also saw new and old friends at our home parish, and made plans to get together once we’re settled back into New Jersey. What a blessing it is to have a social structure we trust built into our new life there.

 

There’s a lot of talk about how too much technology keeps us from really interacting with each other. This weekend, we saw the reverse. Pale sea mist! Moccasin! Haystack! With the help of these beautiful colors, we are seeing the fabric of our family life take shape, and with God’s blessing, what a glorious thing it is.

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