Daddy’s Girl (or Boy, I Guess)

I have been feeling our little one move for a couple of weeks now, but John has not been lucky enough to do so yet. Most of the time, the movement is like a surprise punch, so I haven’t even attempted to get John’s hand on my belly in time.

 

 

The other night, though, as we were going to sleep, he put his hand on my belly when we said our final night prayers. All of a sudden, there was movement—movement more concentrated and more repetitious than anything I’ve felt thus far.

 
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This led me to two conclusions:

1) Though the medical community hasn’t confirmed it, I’m sure this baby is a girl.

2) Not only is it a girl, it’s a daddy’s girl.

 

I hope she knows she’s not dating until she’s forty.

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“God is my refuge on the day of distress.”

This morning John, Jacob, and I attended a Mass offered for Ethan at our local church. I have much more coming on this and other ways we are remembering our little one, but for now, I wanted to share part of the readings at the Mass. The readings today were not chosen for our occasion; I doubt anyone besides the priest knew why we were all there together in the middle of the week. And yet the psalm was exactly what we needed to hear: praise and thanksgiving to God, for being our refuge on the day of distress.

But I will sing of your strength
and revel at dawn in your mercy;
You have been my stronghold,
my refuge in the day of distress.

God is my refuge on the day of distress.

O my strength! your praise will I sing;
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my merciful God!

God is my refuge on the day of distress.

from Psalm 59

 

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Happy Feast of St. Iggy!

Today the Catholic Church celebrates the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus, more commonly known as the Jesuits.

 

Contrary to what a lot of people believe about the Jesuits, their spirituality is a strict one, and one that, personally, I find very relevant in today’s world. As our resident Jesuit priest pointed out this morning at Mass, as important as imagination and feelings are to Ignatian spirituality, for Ignatius, there was no relationship with God without a relationship with the Church.

 

Ignatius’s conversion did not happen in a single moment; rather there were a couple of stages through which he was able to let go of his dreams of honor and prestige and give himself completely to Christ. Isn’t it encouraging to know that saints don’t always—in fact, often don’t—start out that way? Ignatius’s training as a soldier influenced his spirituality and that of his order, so that one of the most important tenets is the complete giving of oneself to God. That’s where this, the Suscipe, comes from:

 

Take, Lord, and receive
all my liberty, my memory,
my understanding, and my entire will,
all that I have and possess.
You have given all to me.
To You, Lord, I return it.
All is yours.
Dispose of it wholly according to Your will.
Give me Your love and Your grace.
This is sufficient for me.

 

I love this feast day. I would like to share why with the help of a poorly-designed flow chart.

 

St. Ignatius of Loyola –> Jesuits –> Boston College –> these girls

 

 
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and these prayers

and the opportunity to stay close to this guy throughout college

 

 

and travel to Belize, Germany, and three other countries

 

and work with fabulous English, German, and theology professors, plus campus ministers, who shared things like this with me

Love and Fear

There are only two feelings. Love and fear.
There are only two languages. Love and fear.
There are only two activities. Love and fear.
There are only two motives, two procedures, two frameworks,
two results. Love and fear.
Love and fear.

—from “A Common Prayer” by Leunig

 

and become the person, the wife, the mom I am today.

 

Happy Feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola!

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