Advent is probably my favorite liturgical season: it is filled with great anticipation and yet with tremendous joy. Not only is a baby to be born, but the child is to be the Savior of the world!
Experiencing pregnancy this year has given me a special opportunity to consider Mary’s life in the months leading up to Jesus’ birth. When I felt ill, I thought about whether Mary had morning sickness, and how she handled it. When I felt the baby kick, I thought how much more amazing it must have been for Mary to feel the Son of God in her womb. Although my child is not God himself, he is a gift in much the same way Jesus was to Mary. How blessed we both are in our motherhood, to have the primary responsibility to care for one of God’s children and the beautiful experience of living God’s love as a parent.
Especially because I have a baby boy, now I find myself often looking at Jacob and how I interact with him and wondering what the same sort of situation looked like between Jesus and Mary. I wonder, did Jesus fall asleep easily at night, or were the first couple of months difficult for him and his earthly parents? How old was Jesus when he started to smile? What did Mary and Joseph do to make him laugh? Was Jesus a small baby, or did he have cheeks that seems to double in size each day, like our Peanut?
Watching my little one squeaking and talking to a toy on the floor in front of me right now, I am grateful for this glimpse into a time of Jesus’ life that is rarely discussed. It has helped me to be more patient with myself and with Jacob. God really does understand every part of our humanity—He lived it! It is incredible to recognize the face of Jesus in this little guy every day.
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I admit that most of Jacob’s waking time is devoted to gazing at whatever kind of light in within his range of vision, but I found a deeper meaning in his fascination with the lights on the tree. In this very busy season, he was delighted by a simple string of lights—and isn’t that what Advent and Christmastime are all about? Finding joy in the simple reality of the Light in our world, which dispels darkness and offers peace.
“In Your light we see light.” (Ps 36:9)
What a joy to celebrate Advent with a little boy, and how grateful I am for a renewal of faith in my motherhood! Amen.
